Yeah we can skip point 5.
This is my third attempt at writing a blog for this delightful E-Zine. Every time I have put finger to key I have been met with a barrier of self-criticism that forces me away from the keyboard in horror. At one point I wanted to use a metaphor of a tree growing outside my house in order to illustrate my point about how human beings evolve under pressure. Unfortunately I also remembered that Steve Coogan used this in the Alan Partridge Autobiography. Epic fail. In the end I settled on using a definition from a little known book called the dictionary. This being a blog and all and requiring me to use words to articulate my point, I felt I owed it to the English language for allowing me to string together these paltry digital scribblings. It’s is incredibly difficult to write a blog with your fists mashing the keyboard but luckily autocorrect manages to turn this Gothic script into something more palatable.
Lager would be the official reason that this current blog is being formed. Some old dance music from 2002 is also spurring me on. In fact both combined helped me to ‘achieve’ my 2.2 at University. I did manage to get honours despite spending most of my third year with (amongst many others) some Northern blokes, the daughter of a Polish abattoir owner and a Brazilian girl with fake tits who pissed all over her passport in a night of drunkenness. I thoroughly enjoyed my time at university and regardless of my general apathy that developed during my course I did manage to meet my wife in the process.
I’m from Devon originally and once I got caught knocking one out of a picture of Madonna. I still hang my head in shame. Otherwise Devon is glorious and I miss it dearly. Oh yeah! I haven’t even said where I am now. I live in Portsmouth. It’s famous for boats and war.
The formation of anything truly awesome takes many years. Luckily this blog won’t take quite so long because it is both short and mediocre; a winning combination that will no doubt enable me to write for the Daily Mail one day. Going back to my main point though, think about all the awesome things in the world that have been formed. The Pyramids, the Great Wall, the M1. All projects of phenomenal magnitude which inspire generations of people (maybe). Anything that is truly brilliant takes years to create. Human beings are no different – they start off cute and all that but they only get really interesting when they can chose their alignment; Good Neutral or Evil.
We are wonderful creations that are capable of so much. I find it fascinating that people often forget that behind all the ‘stuff’ in our lives lay human beings who are incredibly talented. The tapestry of this world has been formed through brilliant people who have aspired to change the face of this planet; and not always for the best reasons. What makes me more excited is that you and I are are more than capable of achieving the same greatness in our time. Disagree? Well I’m pretty sure that when I last checked Bill Gates was still a human. Nelson Mandela was just a baby once. Adolf Hitler was a little kid, as was Osama Bin Laden. It’s funny to think that behind every brilliant or horrific human being there was a guardian who helped that baby grow to a child.
We all can achieve whatever target we set ourselves in life. Some people aspire to be great, I aspire to be happy and writing helps me to get close to this goal. Over time I know my abilities will improve, my range of ideas and my past experiences will help shape my future copy. This can only be achieved as long as I continue to allow myself to be moulded by the world around me. I can chose some of what impacts against my own personal life narrative but ultimately I feel that most of humanity will be buffeted by outside influences. All those people and places (bar the M1) that I quoted earlier were the products of the world that surrounded them.
My blogs will continue to evolve based on whatever the world throws at me. I hope that from the Tetris style foundation that I have set up here you too can help shape my future work. I feel that.